My ride for the Summer 

I am tired, y'all. I spent the day hitting stumbling block after stumbling block, but I will get the bus together and I WILL feed these kids next week, dang it!  Besides all of the frustration (and bonding with my fellow SFPS peep through the many struggles), today was great.

 I went to visit 4 out 8 of my neighborhoods to hand out post cards with info about the program and talk to folks because I love it. I learned some important things already. There are a lot of hungry folks out there. I met so many kids and the adults were excited for the program, but it stung every time I talked to someone that asked if services for adults would be coming too.

 I'll talk about this later because I want to celebrate two of the things I learned that brought me joy today:

1.  I really need to keep learning Spanish because I made a couple of families and myself giggle at my struggles to translate.

 If I have to keep using it, maybe one day I'll be able to speak it without sounding so ridiculous with my mixed tenses and choppy sentences.

 Thank goodness people are so kind. Here's hoping we learn to communicate this summer so I can get to know people better. And I was impressed at what I could remember. Any time I used the correct verb tense and saw on their faces that I had said something that made some sense it was a (huge inner) victory.

2. I spotted so many cool guerrilla-style and container-style gardens everywhere! I really struggled to contain myself and keep from talking about gardening strategies.

I will say the gardens were in some of the more crowded and run down of my neighborhoods. They were creative and each was so different from the next. I really wanted to take pics, but I'll wait to people know who I am first. I would like to show the cool container garden and the recycled items vertical garden (the old cowgirl boot herb pots were my favorite).

Now, the part that hurt. It hurt every time I realized just how many kids needed this service to the point I am a little concerned about running out of food next week. Please don't let that happen. I would cry if I had to tell them I ran out of food and they'd have to wait.

It also hurt every when I realized how many adults needed help, too. I am boxed in by my funding source to only serve kids, but there are many elderly folks that need help and the parents need to eat so they have the energy to work and take care of their kids. I'm glad the Mobile Food Pantry is coming out with me once a month. Being able to tell them that made me feel a little better, not much though. I am working in a really underutilized program that helps a big chunk of hungry kids in these neighborhoods and can no way meet all of the need.

In the back corner in one of my neighborhoods I found a car with a disabled veteran tag and two car seats for tiny kids in the back. That's how I figure out if kids live in the houses at the moment. I look for toys, bikes and car seats. The picture of that car with that tag and those two little seats bruised my heart. I hope I met them.

Being in the rescuer role can be a challenge. I've worked in this role more times than I care to know and I can deal with it. I can hold my reactions when the ten year old I told about the food bus starts a conversation about weed and alcohol as soon as I step away. I file it away and digest it later where they can't see my wtf face and I can check my privilege. Then I start looking for the strengths in the community and building relationships with folks. There is always more strength.

Seeing people growing their own food makes me happy. I know if people have those skills what I am doing is a bonus. Probably a needed and helpful bonus, but just a bonus because they have some control over their own food supply. It may be independence out of necessity, but it is powerful.  

Now it's time to rest. I have to get up and do it all over again tomorrow.